The shallows full movie reddit manual#
The shallows full movie reddit software#

Lively is the same thing that makes me angry when a perfectly good piece of software gets a superfluous update, or a zealous waiter takes my plate at a restaurant: I wasn’t done with that. But something happened, and suddenly it was someone else’s turn to be “it.” (It’s always someone else’s turn.) And part of what annoys me about the lack of Kate Hudson in my life and the surfeit of Ms.

Channing Tatum, for instance, is a more elastic, hip-hop-era Brendan Fraser upgrade. (In the late 1990s, that pretty much happened.) But there are continuums, too. And sell your Brad Rowe stock, because he’s just going to be replaced by Brad Pitt.

Don’t fall in love with Mark Harmon, because here comes Kevin Costner. I don’t think they’re interchangeable, but sometimes the movies beg to differ, and the market corrects itself. There might be no appreciable industrial difference between what a Kate Hudson can do versus your Blake Livelys. And all I can say is that the heart wants what the heart wants. While some actors make sense on movie screens, there are others who might make better sense on a can of something - beer, beans, air. And, as refreshing as it is watching her stand on a surfboard, it’s refreshment that provides some perspective. So I was less than psyched at the prospect of seeing her shiver on a buoy, stitch her own wounds, talk to animals or play a Nancy. Alas, there may be no algorithmic solution for that. But her acting hasn’t yet caught up to her algorithm-generated beauty. Her performance in “ The Age of Adaline” - as a woman “cursed” to stay 30 forever - was like watching a mermaid ride a bike. Her performance as a junkie in “The Town” features the “Bride Wars” of Boston accents. I, at least, struggle to understand her career. But with the wrong star, it’s like reading that manual.

The shallows full movie reddit manual#

With the right star, this sort of “stuck out here all alone” thriller is a gift from movie studio heaven: Man, I hope Sandra Bullock figures out that Russian space-shuttle manual so she can get back to Earth. Yada yada yada: The shark attacks, and she and her maimed thigh are stranded on a dead whale, then a buoy rusty enough to leave you itching for a tetanus shot. (To be honest, I don’t think I could bring myself to say, “Jaws Beach,” either.)Īnyway, he drops her off she slips on her strategically only-partway-zipped wet suit and heads into the water. Lively - as a vacationing American surfer (Nancy Adams from Galveston!), getting a ride from a local stranger who either ignores her or changes the subject anytime she asks the name of the remote, obviously deadly spot they’re headed toward. Lively’s co-star, a shark rampaging in Mexican waters. But you know that moment when you realize that you’ve made a horrible, nontrivial mistake - like leaving your wallet in a cab, or showing up a week too soon for a destination wedding? I was that guy at “The Shallows”: excited to see a movie that doesn’t exist and seated too far in the middle of the row to do anything about it. Who knows how this happened? Out of the corner of my eye, I probably caught an ad, saw that it starred a blonde and just had a “Fool’s Gold” attack.